Fall 2019


I had my very 1st radio interview on 8-6-18. It's about 8 minutes. You can listen on the link!





Chakra Healing Meditation

Friday, October 4th

5:30 - 6:30pm Fee: $15 or use your class package

Guided visual journey through the chakras. Enjoy, relax and heal as you are guided through a color meditation of the chakras accompanied by Sandy toning and chanting.  Chakras will be cleared and aligned. This is a great way to clear out stress and start your weekend off right. Bring mat and blanket if you have them. Comfy clothes. Also bring any other pillows or supports you will need to lie on the floor. I do have lots of mats, extra blankets and bolsters. If you are uncomfortable lying on the floor you may sit against the wall or in a chair.

No reservations needed. Walk-ins welcome. 

Celtic Full Moon Drumming

Sunday, October 13th

from 2-4:30pm approximately

House of Nutrition in Luzerne


I am excited about this workshop! Shamanic drumming will be used to carry us into deep meditation. We will jump the fire to release the old and bring in the new. We will use candle fire and color to release old patterns and manifest our dreams to come. We will also connect to loved ones in Heaven to create peace and harmony in our lives.  Wear comfortable clothes. Bring a yoga mat and blanket if you have them. Call Sandy for more info or to reserve your space. 570-288-1785. Walk-ins welcome!


Candlelight Healing Circle

 Wednesday, October 23rd

6:30 to 8:00pm $20

Healing energy, prayer, meditation and intention help us to clear our minds and soothe our emotions. It gives the soul a place to expand. It is also a way to help others. It is my intent to create a place of peace so you can create a space of calm joy in your life. Reiki healing energy will be channeled to the group and a guided visual meditation will be offered. It will be simple, seated in chairs. Creating healing energy for ourselves and others. Depending on # of participants we may be able to put each person in the center of circle if they desire. Time is approximate. You may come and go as you please. Comfortable clothes. 

Sacred Heart Bowl Meditation

Friday, November 1st

5:30 - 6:30pm Fee: $15 or use your class package

Guided visual journey and singing bowl meditation. Enjoy, relax and heal as you are guided through a meditation to open the sacred heart to receive a higher frequency of Divine Love. It will also help us to release any feelings or beliefs that limit our reception of love. This is a great way to clear out stress and start your weekend off right. Bring mat and blanket if you have them. Comfy clothes. Also bring any other pillows or supports you will need to lie on the floor. I do have lots of mats, extra blankets and bolsters. If you are uncomfortable lying on the floor you may sit against the wall or in a chair. No reservations needed. Walk-ins welcome. 

Angel Walkers

Saturday, November 2nd

Start time 10am

Frances Slocum Park

Fee $45

Forest bathing (originated in Japan) is trending globally. It is a way to reconnect to nature and therefore to ourselves by sitting or meandering in the woods and being present and aware. I've added a Sandy twist on that, a spiritual meander in the woods to reconnect you to nature, your soul and Creator. We will meditate to bring peace and clarity. We will hug trees, talk to rocks and water gaze. Creator made this beautiful planet so we would know how much we are loved. As you desire, you can also connect to fairies, angels and possibly our Heavenly loved ones. Drumming will accompany our meditation. I am excited about this new offering! I've done forest bathing and loved it. I hope you will join me for this new experience. Weather dependent. No rain date. Sturdy hiking shoes.  Call Sandy to reserve a spot, get start location and info.

Payment due that day. Check or cash.

Reservations requested. 570-288-1785

 Future walk locations, Frances Slocum, Thornhurst Picnic Area, Ricketts Glen and in the woods by our home in Suscon.  I will keep you posted. Keep an eye on the homepage.


Current class schedule,pricing and individual appointment info on Locations Page. Detailed class & event info, calendar page, click event or class.

Hot off the presses! 10-22-18

New 30 minute national radio interview.

You can listen on the link !



New Individual Services!

Singing Bowl Therapy Session

Enjoy this incredible experience intuitively played for your personal healing and empowerment. As you rest, you will be immersed in the sound and power of Ascension Crystal Healing Bowls. Sound will facilitate chakra healing and energy clearing. These special bowls have been created for our healing in these challenging times and expanding the evolution of your soul!

$80 approx 1 and 1/2 hours.

Call Sandy to schedule an appointment. 570-288-1785

Healing Yoga - you will rest in restorative yoga postures while receiving reiki.

Shamanic Drumming Therapy - as you rest, energy will be cleared and physical and mental healing facilitated through shamanic drumming, chanting and rattles.

Remote Energy Healing - receive healing energy and insights in the comfort of your own home. The phone sessions are a good way to get back on track when you live out of the area. Reiki is not limited by space and time. In their own homes, clients feel and respond to the energies while I connect by phone. 

Angel Tarot Readings are available in person for approx 1 hour or

read by cell phone with txtd pics.  

Receiving cash, check or PayPal

Check Calendar page for more information on events listed above. Call Sandy for more info or reservations 570-288-1785 or use contact page!



Happiness for $13.00

Believe in yourself. Take control of your life. Your life is not behind you, your memories are behind you. Your life is always right here, right now. Think only of the best and expect only the best, you are worth it. Look always at the positive side of everything, train yourself to do that, it is up to you. Remember, the amount of energy is the same. Invest in getting what you want instead of what you do not want in your life.   - Spiritual Awakenings

Hello Friends,

Hope you have been enjoying this beautiful summer. We have gone through great changes as a planet in the past 3 months. Great changes will continue. I'm hoping since the 8/8 Lion's gate you are feeling a bit better. Mental wooziness is part of our process now as we learn to stop thinking and start feeling and trusting. Our DNA has shifted. Our minds have definitely been rewired. Now is the time to live. Time to slow down, nurture yourself but, most greatly take time in each day to connect with yourself and others. When I say connect I mean in the eyes, soul to soul not via technology of any kind. Time to get real.

How and where did I buy happiness for $13, you might ask? Why O'Malia's Greenhouse of course. I love flowers. In my opinion, they are a true gift from Heaven. I believe all of nature is and try to connect daily, whether by a quick assessment of my garden in the morning or staring out the my office window as I write this, at the sky, trees and birds. I hug the trees in my yard.  In the dead of winter, I sit on my porch wrapped in a blanket. When I'm having a really bad day I've been know to sit on a bench by Frances Slocum lake in the freezing cold if need be. No matter what the circumstances or conditions of our lives, we need to create space for ourselves. Doing so with and in nature helps even more.

Maria Shriver spoke on the Today show about grief. After the recent death of her cousins only daughter, she realized how mentally and physically busy she kept herself as a matter of habit. She realized at the funeral how much grief and other emotions were clouding her. Things she thought she was over and past came rolling up during this recent grief. In the stillness of the funeral she realized the importance of stillness. Even when we are still, our minds are still racing planning, judging ourselves and others, feeling not good enough or what can we possibly do to be better. The truth of the matter is not what you DO for people but how they feel when they are with you in stillness. How do you feel when you sit with yourself in stillness? If you are restless then you need MORE stillness.

We all have tasks we must do. Daily, weekly, etc. Somewhere in my 15 years of care giving for my Mom, I decided to use the reward system to keep myself going. Bargaining is one of the 5 stages of grief. ANY MAJOR LIFE CHANGE and even the small ones bring grief. Bargaining is a coping mechanism that works for me. I realized in that horribly demanding time period I could not push myself through it. I had 2 melt downs in these attempts. So I went to reward accomplishment and good behavior. If I resolve 5 items of business I lie down for a 10 min break and relax my mind. While typing, I pause to stare out the window.  After I wash the floor, I sit on the porch. When I had to deal with a difficult person then run errands, I stopped at O'Malias and bought a few plants. Jacob always knew I had a bad day when he got up for school and there was a Dairy Queen container in the recycle bin. Whether small purchased rewards I give myself the time to enjoy, meditation, contemplation, reading, lying down or spending time in nature. I love myself enough to give myself that TIMEOUT. Only I can do that for myself. If I want to be the best person I can be, to be TRULY kind and give back, I must do this. As the quote above says, train yourself to do it, you are worth it.  Only you can do that for you.

Explore New Services:

Private yoga support is available. If there is a posture your struggle with. or just want to tune your whole routine.  Done in a Hatha style with 1 min meditations between postures. Reiki will also be applied to help with alignments. $60 for 60min

Private meditation: Learn meditation, breathing (pranayam) and relaxation techniques. 30 mi $30

Flower Essences - Daily support for transformational times. Plant essences were discovered by English bacteriologist Dr. Edward Bach. I also use Perelandra essences created by Bio-chemist Machelle Wright. I intuitively choose and mix the essences in a water base to be ingested 3 times daily for life changing results. Lasts about 3 weeks. I consider it to be flower reiki in a bottle. You will also get a read-out of the ingredients and what issues they will support in your life.  - $45

Card Readings - I offer 1 hour card readings by phone or in person. I have been working with an Angel Tarot deck but energies have shifted. I also now offer readings with a Fairy Tarot deck. I have also be guided to use Inner Child inspiration cards for support. Usually one card per reading. If you choose a phone reading, I will text you the pictures of your cards.  $70



My Friend Ellen


Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you just don't care.
Dance like no one is watching

The above quote is scrawled on the inside cover of the book titled Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, given to me by my friend Ellen. It was her well worn personal copy.

Hello sweet friends,
Today, I'd like to tell you the story of my friend Ellen. She ascended to her true angel self many years ago. Still, she nudges me to care for myself. Some days, I can see her bright smile. When I am sad, I can always feel her near. She was an angel on earth as well. At a time in my life, when I was struggling, she gave me her own copy of the codependency daily reader. (which I highly recommend) I read it as part of my daily wellness practice.

This book is a part of her, my treasure. The page corners are bent. Ellen highlighted or underlined most pages. Her "Don't Quit" inspirational bookmark, keeps my place. In every blank space there are notes, musings and even some phone numbers of friends. Her name, address and phone are written on the title page. I wish I could call and talk to her. I wish I could drive out to Trucksville and sit with her on the glider, in her back yard. I miss her so yet, she speaks to me with each day's message. She makes sure I have exactly what I need to face the day.

Ellen struggled in her too short life. She wrestled with addiction, recovery, shame, guilt and poverty. Through those struggles, she learned to say no, to love herself, and to feel worthy.  She suffered physically with diabetes, a heart condition, COPD and PTSD. Despite all these challenges, she knew how to live, love and give. She came out of the box. She learned she could wear what she wanted and she wasn't afraid of color. She learned to be exactly who she was without excuses. She learned to try new things without fear. She was a courageous and caring person. She lived the "Dance" quote. I don't think I ever really appreciated that quote. I read it so many times, I dismissed it. Then, last week the cover fell open and her memory came flooding in.

Ellen loved to cook and fed me and my dog, Mr. Jake, many times. Mr. Jake had a special place in her heart. She also loved to bake but, because of the diabetes, gave most of it away. After seeing Ellen at a celebration, my partner, Jule, gave this perfect description, "I saw Ellen today. She was walking down the steps with a cane, an oxygen tank over her shoulder, carrying a cake she made that she could not eat." 

Later in life she discovered Native American Pow-Wows. She loved to watch the dancers in Native regalia. She loved the outdoors as well, but couldn't sit in the sun because of the diabetes. She'd lug her "stuff" to the Pow-Wow . We could always spot her perched in her webbed aluminum folding chair, under the sunflower umbrella, duct taped to the back of the chair. With childlike wonder she embraced the Native ways. She received her "Spirit name" from the medicine man.  And on occasion, her cane in one hand and my elbow in the other, we'd walk around the dance circle, while Native dancers whirled gracefully by.

The amount of trauma we've survived, the amount of challenges we face have no bearing on the amount of happiness we can experience or the amount of joy we can share. Learn from Ellen. Live the dance!



Love's Calling

I'd like to share this poem by Michael S. Glaser

Love's Calling


The night is aflame
with the silence of stars,
new snow embraces the world and yet,
my mind calculates
the contingencies as though
there is still need for intelligent caution,
as though this old pattern
still serves my tremulous heart.


What is this tangle pulling at my ankles,
holding me back with its forked tongue?
Love's sirens shine like the moon,
invite me to follow
the call of their horizon,
to embrace at last the freedom that waits,
faithful as ever,
like love,
like the promise of Mary's extended arms.

Hi friends, This poem arrived in my email this week.  I cried tears of relief and awe at it's coming. A poem perfect for our evolutionary turning point and a great celebration of the season. Love's sirens are calling us to a new horizon. I feel a palpable vibration in the air. The strength of which elevates my cells to hope, love and kindness. This vibration swells to all humanity. There is also a hush and a stillness that has brought me to a long awaited calm. We are salmon swimming up stream because it is natural to do so. We are birds migrating south, not able to define the reason for our actions. Brains thankfully on hold, our souls respond to love's call. Love's call needs no room for intelligent caution. The forked tongue of the old world falls on deaf ears. The light returns with solstice, it is the way of things. The promise of a garden to bloom. Be still and you will know this is true. We are becoming ourselves.


Autumn 2017


Drum Circle

Sunday, November 12th

2-4pm - No experience necessary $10

Please register if you need a drum. 570-288-1785

See calendar for details.

New Quiet Mind Meditation

Mondays 5-6pm

Luzerne Studio

Our minds are over stimulated by media and technology. Our feelings overwhelm us. It's time to take your life back from the chaos and return to the quiet.  Meditation reduces anxiety, stress and blood pressure. It increases mental focus, awareness and creativity. It also adds quality of present moment living which brings gratitude, appreciation and joy.  We will work with Pranayam, (breath techniques) to regulate the mind and ease pain.  We will practice verbally led meditation to bring peace and stillness to our mind. It will become like a still pond. Clear and still. This class is different from the morning meditation. We will spend approx 30 minutes with breath techniques and another 30 minutes with guided meditation.  We will be seated in chairs or on floor for entire class. Street clothes appropriate.  

Celtic Healing Service

Saturday, December 30th  

from 6 to 7pm - Donations

Held at St. Stephens's Episcopal Church

35 S. Franklin St.


An opportunity to gather for peaceful, hope-filled, reflection, meditation and prayer in the Celtic Spirit.


Angel Tarot Readings

Available by appointment anytime


I have been reading Tarot cards since the age of 12. Doreen Virtue has now created an Angelic Tarot Deck that I feel is safe and positive.  Using the guidance of the angels I will offer clear, effective, life changing readings.  I offer readings at my Reiki Studio in Edwardville. Regular readingd is $50/45min, 10 card readings are $75.  I have been a healer for 20 years, the healing energy will flow through the readings, clearing, releasing will occur.  I will also connect you to the angels in the cards that will help you in the situation of your concern. Please contact me to schedule an appointment.  570-288-1785 or email on this site.   Many blessings!

Price Changes effective after January 2nd

Yoga class change from $13 to $14 per class

Package of 6 with 6 month expiration is now $70

Initial Reiki Visit $75 - following visits or returning customers $70


Check Calendar page for more information on events listed above. Call Sandy for more info or reservations 570-288-1785 or use contact page!




Eclipse the Past


"Rest is not idleness and to lie sometimes on the grass, under trees on a summers day, listening to the murmur of the water or watching the clouds float across the sky is by no means a waste of time."  - John Lubbock "The Uses of Life"

How have you been? I know, I've been gone so long you're probably thinking, "Who is this?" Life is like that though, isn't it? Everything ebbs and flows. The only constant in life is change and change we are. We go through periods where we just can't seem to keep up or stay the same. That cycle helps us to uproot from outgrown tendencies and grow into a new phase in our evolution. The world right now is in that state. We are moving forward at lightening speed. NOTHING can stay the same. We are sorting out what serves and what does not. Even things we keep need to grow and be restructured. Idleness does not come easily to me. Due to changes in my work and home life, I have been given time to rest and enjoy my life.

We enjoyed and incredibly relaxing vacation in Aruba. I haven't been that still in a long time. It's quite easy in blue water with palm trees swaying and birds singing. I also recommitted to artistic creativity. I've had time to read, which I find incredibly restorative. I saw 9 movies at the Dietrich Summer Film Festival. I joined a writers group and am taking a writing class at Wilkes. I also learned a short, comprehensive new yoga routine for overall health which is being received quite nicely. I attended the Yoga Conference on Mental Health at Misericordia. It's been an active but relaxing summer. OK! So, by now you are probably wondering what planet I live on and if I ever turn on a TV. I believe I'm still on earth but the only TV I watch is Big Bang reruns and Turner Classic Movies.

"Clara found it easy to forgive most things in most people. Too easy, her husband Peter often warned. But Clara had her own little secret. She didn't really let go of everything. Most things, yes. But some she secretly held and hugged and would visit in moments when she needed to be comforted by the unkindness of others." - Louise Penny from Still Life

One of my reads this summer was the above Agatha Christie style mystery by Louise Penny. I found these lines so telling. As I contemplated this passage, my question is why is this true for me? Why is it that I, or anyone, would be comforted by the unkindness of others? I realized that for me a lack of esteem is secretly comforted when others acted badly. Then I could be worthy or even better than they. Also, unkindness in others lessens the self judgment of our own humanity. Finally, embracing negativity is considered normal and even celebrated. Modern media and social media runs rampant with it. Why have hope when the world is such a mess. We believe negativity protects us. In reality, fear and negativity ensure your victimization on some level. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. Our egos are masters of self destruction. They joyfully, incessantly seek chaos.

"Every one thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing themselves." - Leo Tolstoy

The eclipse opened a shift in the energy matrix of the planet so incredibly profound. The changes are restructuring our DNA, that means, body and mind. Our egos have long ruled the planet. An influx of Divine Feminine energy is balancing out that which has ruled for so long. Our brains are being rewired to there original state of truth. All will, at our own pace, "wake up" to our oneness with the Divine. We will now be able to easily access Divine wisdom, power and love. We think we know what those three words mean but, truly, we have only a skewed or minimal idea. When your shift occurs, your mind will be blown, literally! I am already feeling and utilizing access of the true wisdom. It helps me make better choices. Your life starts today. Every part of the past, family history, genetics, past trauma and suffering, even who you perceive yourself to be has been eclipsed. It's over. Let it go and watch your self evolve. The best days of your life are yet to come. More beautiful than you can imagine in this moment!

Some of the physical symptoms of the eclipse change have been neck and back pain, nausea and stomach issues, exhaustion, confusion and moodiness, just to name a few. This is a a rough part of the ride. Our perceptions will shift. We feel lonely and misunderstood. We are changing completely. Change brings truth. Every quality that is good will get better, only our negative traits and beliefs fall away. Self love and self care, rest and quiet time are crucial for our sanity. We NEED these things to make it through the transformation. The world around us is working itself out. Mother earth is cleaning herself and in her own shift. Avoid negativity at all cost. Take action where you can. Otherwise seek gratitude in each moment. Enjoy each day as it comes. The government is on it's own path. Let it roll. Tend to yourself. Positive energy has returned to the planet. Negative energy does not like that and it rails harder, but too late. Tolstoy is absolutely correct. He mirrors the teachings of the Buddha and Jesus Christ. The kingdom of Heaven is within. Stop feeding into the crap and live your life. The changes are naturally occurring. We must go with the flow. Do no harm. Be who you are. Be present especially, the answers are in the now. Your life in this moment does depend on rest, self care, self nurturing, meditation and inquiry and prayer. Take action in these areas and let go of what was once survival, LIVE!


Breaking Free


This human shape is a ghost made of distraction and pain, sometimes pure light, sometimes cruel, trying wildly to open this image tightly held within itself.  - Rumi

Cabin fever might have you splitting at the seams but a trip to the mall is not what you truly yearn for. Humanity is breaking free from the past. Everything is coming undone. Everything. Our souls are rising up. We are emptying our houses. Someone has died, the limited illusion of who we are. Only the lovely beauty of the soul remains. The limited illusion can no longer support life. We are seeking life on another planet. The planet is within us.

The signs of the wondrous growth are feeling lost and unfamiliar in your home, work, day to day routine and relationships. Everything seems foreign. Your memory may be poor or you may have gales of forgotten heartache rolling over you. No darkness can be carried forward. We are being reborn DNA & all. We may feel incredible fear of the future, the fate of humanity and our planet. Those of us that are scared to death are right on track.

What strange beings we are that sitting in hell, at the bottom of the dark, we are afraid of our own immortality. - Rumi

We are birds inside the egg. Chipping away at all the old patterns that have weighed us down for so long. Chipping away at our endless pursuit of distractions, the addictions to the material world that tempt us to believe that flesh, bone and money are all there is.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act but a habit.   - Aristotle

Be present with yourself. Notice your thoughts. Notice your actions, are they true to your heart? Do your actions match your words? What holds your attention? The soul is tapping on the inside. Reclaim your focus. Make loving positive thoughts your habit. Follow the new and release the old. Your true self is calling.

You can't hold a man down without staying down with him! - Booker T. Washington

What we focus on expands. To focus on another, understanding the motives and circumstances that cause another's  behavior is futile. To hold onto blame and resentment of others and self is to occupy our spirits with bitterness. We create and draw more negativity to ourselves. 

The chaos of our government and country is fulfilling a Divine plan beyond our comprehension. What we resist continues to control us. The old needs to fall. Already people, of their own creativity and ingenuity, are solving problems, growing food, helping others and finding new sources of fuel and natural medicines. The new world is already rising from the hearts of the people. The change occurred BECAUSE of the current dangers. Chaos spurred us into growth. People are softer and kinder. More connected and aware of the well being of "the whole". The change is rising from the people.

So today, find a more nurturing way to fill yourself up. The soul is tapping. Follow the nudges of your soul like bread crumbs out of the dark woods. Inquire within. Make choices, all choices from you soul. I sit in silence and ask "the God that I am" to guide and direct my day. I can feel the warmth respond. My soul rises to the task. Present moment meditation has also helped me navigate the chaos. Instead of responding from habit, break free and choose anew, every moment. What is best for my soul in this moment will also serve humanity. It's a win win. Happiness and a healthy humanity.

You are lover and beloved. You possess untapped power, love and wisdom. Relax into your soul. Open your heart to you! Feel the warmth. The whole adventure of this moment is loving and discovering you. The real blessed and beloved you.


Stairway to Heaven


If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.  -  Muhammad Ali


I hope all had a wonder filled holiday season.  I enjoyed a restful and fun filled holiday and am ready for 2017! Let's get this party started!

I realize you may wonder where I've been. The summer Olympics and Usain Bolt where the topic of my last newsletter.  Truth be told, I was singing! Since childhood I have been a soloist, chorister and performer. Mom's breakdown in 2002 combined with self employment kept me from regularly scheduled extra curricular activities. It's been a long haul! Since my Mom's passing a year ago, I am slowly rediscovering who I am after 14 years as a caregiver.

 In September, I joined a church choir.  We performed very successful concerts for Veterans and Christmas and a large Christmas Eve service. I even had a solo during advent. Without singing, a part of me was missing. It is sheer bliss to share the gift of song. Music is a form of healing. It is very cathartic for performer and audience. It opens the heart. Music was my first healing modality and I have continued to expand the expression of love through holistic arts. I am happy and content.

In the years of caring for my mother, I thought the anguish and heartache would never end. What I learned is life is impermanent and all things, good or bad, no matter the duration, END! Except love of course! Love is the only real true thing in the Universe. All living things are made of this love energy. Love never dies, it simply changes forms. Personally, I love change and pray for it frequently but don't often like the changes sent my way. Our ego loves to build false security by anchoring down in material structure and patterns. The ego part of our brain hates and fears.  The soul longs to be free, unfettered by the chaos of the world.  Creativity of any kind feeds the soul. We are responsible for our own happiness.  We can choose happiness no matter the course of the day to day world. The key is when you feel afraid or angry tell your ego to "knock it off, go to your room." In this way we can reroute our brain to focus on the peace within.

The magnitude of changes we will face in this new year is inconceivable and so are the results. The old world is falling. The new is in place. We are moving from the hamster wheel of Karma to the Golden Spiral Staircase of evolution. With hope and courage we can  make the leap of faith and simply live our truth. No event or person can change the substance of your soul. So what do we "do"? LIVE! Have fun! Spend time with loved ones. Make time for the things you love. Create! Follow your dreams. Do not waste one precious moment on anything or anyone negative. Be present and be the best you, you can be each moment. Take action from your heart instead of re-acting to the chaos of the world. This year is about rediscovering YOU! If you live from your soul guidance ALL, everything, you need will be created by or attracted to your soul. You will be well cared for by the Divine Love of your soul.  What must be surrendered for this to happen is control. That needs to be surrendered to the Divine. Wake up! Hold fast to integrity of thought and deed, kindness, courtesy, compassion. Our behavior is our responsibility and our legacy.

Make the your heart the most beautiful thing about you!  - Evolver Social Movement

Going for Gold


When a butterfly is ready to emerge from its chrysalis, it chews a tiny hole in one end and forces its stunning new form through the small orifice.
Within this "struggle" of emergence, liquids from deep inside the butterfly's body are passed into the capillaries of its wings, then harden to ensure the strength and capability required for a butterfly to survive and fly.
When denied of this "struggle," the butterfly dies.
When you are struggling, rest easy in the understanding that you are a warrioress, dedicated to the ripened rewards of a proper initiation.   - Astromissive#329

Summer of fun and discovery. That was my intention. I did some drumming at Omega Institute in NY, toured the Rhinebeck area and had a wonderful and refreshing stay at Hemingway Lane B&B. I planted flowers. I painted a picture. I had a great healing session with a shaman, ate at a French cafe and purchased a new yoga mat. I read a book and took naps on a wonderful and relaxing beach vacation with my beloved. I had the sacred and holy experience of releasing my Mom's ashes into the ocean. She loved the ocean and was a tremendous swimmer. It was her request and quite possibly the only time in our lives "I made her happy!"  LOL! The experience freed me in many unexpected ways. I am grateful for it.

As many of you know, music was my first love.  I started singing in first grade. In my late thirties, I decided to build on two other long time passions. I took my part time healing and yoga practice to a full time business which brought me unparalleled joy!  Two years into my business, my Dad died. My father enabled my Mom in her mental illness. I was well aware the day he died I had lost both parents. Nine months later she had a nervous breakdown. Since then I had been her caregiver, parent, lawyer, advocate, nurse, chauffeur, accountant and personal shopper.  Those duties have defined daughter for 15 years.

The first thing to go was my music. There was absolutely no time for a regularly scheduled activity.  I started to wear down and had no time for my friends. No one seemed to understand the magnitude of caring for a mentally ill but physically sound semi-functional being. I struggled to keep my business going. I struggled to stay creative and fresh in my work. I struggled with my own sanity. I needed quiet. My connection to spirit and my own meditation practice kept me going.  My family was always a great support.

Still, along the way, my heart closed and I lost me. I felt constantly threatened and unsafe. I felt so afraid all the time about not having enough money for her care and being overwhelmed by the shear volume of work it entailed. Trusting in a Divine plan was often challenging. It was so hard to let go. Even my throat closed & I struggled with singing high notes. 

"There are times when I have to hurt through a situation and when this happens, the choice is not whether to hurt or not hurt, but what to do while I am hurting."  from In all our affairs. - Al-anon

I desire to open my heart and release these limitations of my expression of all good things.  Swami Satchidananda said that people who become enlightened are dedicated to peace. Without peace, we can not serve. Dedication is key to achieving a goal. I witnessed so many incredible examples of the rewards of dedication during the Olympics. The Olympics are an obsession at our house. We don't sleep for two weeks, we cheer, we cry! Nurturing a global community is an important awareness. The spirit and dedication of the athletes to practice and become the best is inspiring. Facing my fears, I signed up for voice lessons in July and will be concluding them with a solo in a recital August 26th. My voice has improved with practice but I still have some mental phobias on those high notes. My goal is to express all of my gifts with love and freedom.
The Universe has opened avenues so we can all live in a deeper awareness of our connection to Divinity. During Olympic track events I observed this behavior from the fastest man alive. In his preparation immediately prior to each race, Usain Bolt connects to source. I watched him each time, kneel and pray, make the sign of the cross and then lift his eyes to Heaven and smile.  He looked up in knowing familiarity to his Divine source. He smiled as if to an old friend. He made his connection before he raced and won gold every time. He always knelt in gratitude after winning, as well. His connection to Source was palpable and personal. I could feel his heart centered energy lifting my own goals of opening and trust.

I was shopping for a new yoga mat. A purple jute mat caught my eye. I liked the way it felt, then I realized it had an affirmation written in small letters across the top. When I first read the affirmation, I put the mat back. I felt unworthy of the affirmation. There is a funny commercial showing all the Olympians chanting their positive affirmations while traveling, much to the annoyance of one who wants to rest. We need to keep our minds on what we want instead of what we don't want. So, I bought the yoga mat, it simply says;
                                                                     I radiate love




"Know thyself. . . Nothing in excess"

These words are carved above the entrance to Delphi, the ancient Greek temple
of the Oracles

Do you fee like you are slogging through a swamp while life around you is speeding past? Well then, you're right where you need to be. At this moment Saturn, Mars, Pluto and on the 28th Mercury are in retrograde.  4 planets in retrograde is not common feat. Two more will join them, Neptune 6/13 and Uranus 7/29.  That's a whole lotta backward movement.  Retrogrades are periods of rest and reevaluation. It is time to slow down and re-align with our true self and purpose, time for spring cleaning.

We have gone through significant changes since 2012. The old is almost completely crumbled. Where do we stand now? How do we move forward from here and where are we exactly in our lives? These are the questions we must answer in retrograde. If you are trying to proceed with business as usual, that probably isn't going very well. Hunker down in silence and stillness to discover who you are now, after all the upheaval. This is the task at hand.

"Love is the flame that when kindled, burns everything away. God only remains" - Rumi

My Mom left this world on January 20th, 2016. she was never overly stable and when my father passed in 2001, she had a nervous breakdown. Since then I have been her caregiver, parent, lawyer, advocate, nurse, chauffeur, accountant and personal shopper.  Those duties have defined daughter for 15 years.

Now we are both free.  She is free of her suffering and mental illness and so am I.  All the above was quite a chore and often I missed the beauty right in front of me, like family, friends and a lot of creativity. Me and Mom had our own little world. Now it is finished. Who am i now that I am not Rita's daughter? Bits and pieces of my true self are bubbling up to the surface. I am singing and loving it. With this letter, I finally picked up a pen again. I am enjoying walks in nature and reading books. The creative juices are flowing, ready for spring. I am reconnecting with my family. I've been mentally and emotionally absent for so long. Yet, somehow, they still love me and I them. My friends as well.
I remembered how to laugh.

"When life gives you more than you can stand, kneel." - Church of St. Ignatius Loyola

The good, old familiar is still present, entwined now with the new. I am stronger now, even fierce! I am vulnerable and open. Relaxed. The self-love, integrity and courage it took to keep two opposing people alive was monumental. I have grown a lot and prayed even more. Little things bother me less. Slowly, gently, I refocus my life. I proved I could walk my talk. If I didn't I'd be dead now, too. So here I am, on this beautiful April day. It's not so much what I do but, how I do it. It's being with the ones I love, time doing things I love, stillness and silence. The rest is up to God. I've one the war. It's time to rest. I will meet you there.

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."  - Rumi